A Painful Remembrance

This is Waya-waya, Ugo and Home Boy at Mas Flow Salon.  Grieving over the Habs lose at the salon.   Ugo is about to shed his play-off dedication.…

Ugo and Waya-waya still anticipating the departure of Ugo’s beard.

The Before Shot

Half Ass Pic

Ready for Action! (514-880-8000)

Business Cards

Monica: How do you feel about your new business cards?

Ugo: I don’t think they’re gonna work.

Monica: Why not?

Ugo: Because I’m eager to hand them out to people.

Monica: Isn’t that what you are suppose to do?

Ugo: Ya, but I think you should never give them out to someone in front of someone you already gave it to.

Monica:  Why not?..... You think they’ll be jealous?

Ugo:  Ya and they’ll never call you again.

Monica: The whole point is to give them out to lots of people so why would they be jealous?

Ugo: Oh ya, you wouldn’t get jealous if you saw someone else getting the same business card that you just got?

Monica: No

Ugo: Well that’s what makes you special I guess

Monica: You really think other people would get jealous?

Ugo: Ya

Monica: What’s the whole point of having a business card for you?

Ugo: To get my number out there.

Monica: In order to what?

Ugo lies down on his bed and closes his eyes.

March 24- April 27, 2014 My Drawings are in an Exhibition

Three of my drawings are in an art exhibition at LES IMPATIENTS (100 Sherbrooke East, Montreal 4^th floor). The gallery is open Monday- Friday 10am- 5pm and Saturday and Sunday 1pm- 5pm. Check it out!!  http://impatients.ca/

There are two portraits of women and one of a man. All three portraits are not of anyone in particular. The woman in baby blue, can be argued that it's of Vanessa but I'm not too positive. I'm often inspired by people I meet and see at Café Olympico. The portrait of the man took a long time because there is a lot of detail in the hair. I don't really like this drawing, all the hair makes it too complicated for my taste. In one drawing I smeared the left eye away and it makes for an interesting detail but the truth is that I smeared it away by complete accident. I like it better with the smear in the end. I think my favourite of the three is the baby blue drawing of the woman because its simple.

New Tattoo. Anxiety. Girls' Phone Numbers.

“I was curious about the new tattoo that you wanted to get. What is it going to say?” said Brooks.

“It's gonna say something like 'you can see the light through her dressing gown behind her. And you can't stop shaking as you welcome her into your bed.,'” said Ugo. “It's from Grapes of Wrath by Steinbeck. I wanna get it on my chest. It's like an attractive quote.”

“Attractive for women?” said Brooks.

“For men too,” said Ugo. “Yeah. There you go. There's our blog post. Did you masturbate today?”

“Yes. Yes I did. Did you?”

“No.” Brooks and Ugo both laughed.

“Why not?” said Brooks.

“Never got around to it. I thought about beatin' it as soon as I got up, but I just didn't get around to it.”

“Gonna get around to it later today?”

“Well I don't know. I don't think so.” A moment of silence passed. Ugo got a pained look on his face. He brought a hand up to his forehead.

“Something wrong buddy?” said Brooks.

“Anxiety,” said Ugo.

“What are you anxious about?”

Ugo got up suddenly and walked away. He came back and sat down again.

“Yeah I fell over on the way over here,” he said. Another moment of silence.

“Wanna talk about Tiffany, or Cara?” suggested Brooks.

“Cara's from Mexico. She didn't give off a latino style though. Attractive young woman. And Tiffany. Neither one of them gave me their number.”

“You asked them both.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I didn't get their numbers either,” said Brooks.

“Oh? You just sent off your waves,” said Ugo. He made a giving-off-vibes gesture, like he was casting a spell. “I guess I should learn to do that. Ask them in my mind if they'll give me their phone number. No, that's not it, right?”

“Well, not exactly, but it is a kind of... being more patient. Not rushing things. Just being friends for a while.”

“That's a weekly thing.”

“What do you mean by that, that's a weekly thing?”

Ugo looked at his cell phone. “What did you text me earlier?”

“I texted you 'slightly late, be there soon.' I wanted to ask you what you meant by that's a weekly thing.”

“Well, not calling her every ten seconds. Or every day for that matter.”

“Right, it's like that time we played paintball.”

“Well I just went out and shot everywhere. You remember? I'd just go 'AHHHH!' and start firing?”

“Yeah, and then what happened?”

“Well I got shot, but I wouldn't go down if I was shot.”

“Just like with women, in a way. You rush in, get shot down, and you just keep going.”

“But don't make it out that I'm some sort of Cassanova. 'Cause I'm not. Not even close. I'm a busted up Cassanova.” Ugo brought out his cell phone again and started dialing. Brooks' home phone started to ring.

“Is that you calling me?”

“Don't answer it,” said Ugo.

The phone kept ringing. It went to voicemail.

“Hello I was wondering if [Brooks' roommate] Jo's around. Okay, thanks, bye.”

The Road is Varied

Ugo got a new tatoo!

I (Monica) asked Ugo a few questions about his new tattoo on Thursday.
He told me that he drew this before his accident when he was about 19 years old.  That it is a drawing from a graphic novel he was working on at the time.  The story line was about a guy who gets thrown into prison.  When he gets out he finds out that his fiancé has married his best friend.  His friend was partly responsible for his imprisonment (he had set him up for murder).  This was the drawing of the main character's fiancé.  Ugo said that he probably will never finish this story because he can't draw this small anymore.
Ugo said that he got this drawing as a tattoo because she is his dream woman.  He got it on his back so that he can't see it.  Ugo said that he doesn't really know why he doesn't want to be able to see it.
Looks great Ugo!!

Why Ugo Runs

“Seems I have something to admit and express,” said Ugo, “that anywhere I look I'm supposed to be seeing her, but all I hear from all around me is that she doesn't exist so I'm guessing that that means she doesn't exist cause all I hear all around me is that she doesn't exist.”

“You're kind of checking with the people around you to know what's real,” said Brooks. “I do the same. I get ideas in my head sometimes, and then when I tell people about it I realize that I had it all wrong. I have to check with the people around me too. That's how I stay sane.”

“And I guess all around me I hear that she's just around the corner, right there, so you better look at her, so I get up, turn around and look, but she's never there,” said Ugo.

“So you have these two conflicting sources. There's the voice in your head and the people around you telling you it's not real. Is it hard to know which one to listen to?” said Brooks

“Well now that you've pointed out that you have to do the same thing to stay sane. That kind of makes sense because if I listen to the voice in my head, then that's, well, I should get up, I should get ready, and I should go run.” said Ugo.

Interview with Ugo Mon, Jan 13, 2014

U  Let's start with my former obsession.

L              Former?

U               Yeah.

L              Former.  So you've moved on from her?

U              I formerly beieved her to be super human.

L              How's that?

U              Now I feel that it is better to give her regular qualities.

L              Can you say more about that?

U              Well, to land a regular girl; to have a relationship.

L              How is transforming your obsession into someone normal related to having a

relationship?

U              Well, a regular girl would be part of my obsession.  (Ugo puts his hand up to his

forehead). I'm saying               osession a lot because we're talking about her.

L              How was the obsession super­human before?

U               I don't know.

L              Could it be that she wasn't human?

U              Yeah.

L              So now it's about imagining something that can exist? Is that right?

U              Yeah. Turn it from somthing that can't exist to something that can exist.

L              So what is somthing that can exist that you'd like to imagine?  If you have the power to

create somthing               possible for yourself, what does that look like for you?

U              It looks like Valérie.

L              Who is she?

U              A girl I met here (at the Cafe)

L              What are the Charcteristics of a regular relationship that would interest you?

U              A sense of humour.

L              That's a good quality for you.  You have a good sense of humour too.

U              And a tie with my family.

L              Hmm. Well, that's kind of rare. If a girl doesn't already have a tie with your family, that

doesn't mean she isn't               suited for you.

U              Oh, that's right.

L              Have you tried connecting to someone who has a lifestyle and life circumstance similar

to yours?

U  No, I haven't.

L  Why not?

U              I don't know why not.

L              What about Rose?  The only thing was that she already had a boyfriend.

U              Oh yeah.

L              It may be easier for a woman similar to you to relate to your lifestyle.

U              I tried that, but it didn't work.

L              Well, Rose had a boyfriend, and she's just one person.  That doesn't mean it can't work.

U              Oh, I guess you're right.

L               Have you kept in touch with Rose?  When was the last time you spoke with her?

U              Last Thursday

L              Oh, that's pretty recent.  Is she in your Improv group?

U              Yeah.

L              Does she still have a boyfriend?

U               I guess so.

L              You could keep connected to her.  Do you ever call her?

U              Yeah.

L              How does that go?

U              Pretty good.

L              That's positive and grounded in reality—a regular girl; a regular kind of relationship.  It

could evolve            

              into something more than just a friendship at some point, and what you have now is also

enjoyable.

Questioning the Obession

“The whole purpose of calling her your obsession was to try to stop thinking of her as a real person," said Brooks.

“I think the best thing to do is to think of her as a real person,” said Ugo.

“Why's that?”

“To stop giving her surreal qualities so she stops giving you surreal qualities.”

“That's interesting. I agree with that goal, but it's hard for me to think of her as a real person because I don't believe that, you know what I mean?”

“Well it's hard for you to think of her as a real person? To start off by giving her surreal qualities it gives too much importance to her. And that would make her start by giving me surreal qualities. And I don't want that because that would make it impossible for me to submit any kind of quality.”

“I see what you're saying. Do you think we should stop saying 'your obsession?'”

“Yeah, because I'm not obsessed with a surreal woman.”

“You're obsessed with a real woman. Is that what you're saying?”

“Yeah, and obsession makes too much of an unrealistic woman.”

“I guess I find myself in a bit of a paradox. Because from my perspective, she is nothing more than a creation of your psychosis, right?”

“Yeah.”

“So she's clearly not a real woman to me, right? However, I see what you're saying and I could try to stop calling her your obsession, but I can't think of her as a real woman either, you see what I mean?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you think that would work for you?”

“Yeah that could totally work for me. Cause I want something real.”

“But to be honest, I don't think you're gonna get something real either. I mean it's definitely better to be real than surreal, as you put it, but the woman is neither surreal or real.”

“Yeah, she's just not there.”

“Right, but then I often wonder whether it's really a good thing for me to convince of that.”

“Convince me of what?”

“That she's not there. Because it seems to me that she fulfills some kind of function for you. That's she's kind of a coping thing for you. You know?”

“Yeah. I'm not too sure if I agree with the coping thing. It doesn't help in any way in terms of coping with a surreality.”

“What about coping with your needs for a relationship which aren't being fulfilled?”

“No because it doesn't seem like my needs for a relationship are really that high.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah, because I don't need a relationship. It would be nice, but it's not needed. Because that's the desire of any man. And I dare say that I'm not any man. I'm a superman.”

Busting Open the Dream World

Ugo and Brooks were on the 18, heading to Caffe Italia. Ugo said “I've never seen her,”

“Neither have I, Ugo,” Brooks replied.
“Oh really?”
“Yeah. I've never seen her.”
“How do you know you've never seen her?”
“Because she's a figment of your imagination.”
“Yeah. But how do you know you've never seen her?”
“Have you ever seen a figment of my imagination?”
“No.”
“Has anyone ever seen a figment of anyone else's imagination?”
“No.”
Ugo and Brooks looked at each other for a moment. Ugo looked like he was thinking hard.
“Do you find it hard to believe still?” Brooks said.
“No, no, it makes perfect sense.”

...Half an hour later, sitting in the Cafe, Brooks raised the topic again.
“Hey Ugo,” he said, “Do you remember the conversation we had earlier?”
“No,” said Ugo.
“I find it interesting that you don't remember that conversation.”
“Uh-huh”
“Why do you think I find that interesting? Is it okay to keep talking about this?”
“Yeah. I want to talk about it. I want to bust open my little dream world. Although I don't really know how to bust it open.”
“Any ideas on how to do that?”
“Conversation. That seems to be the best way to bust it open. Now whether I have what it takes to do that I'm not so sure. But, if I force myself a little bit... yeah.”
“Okay, well I found it interesting that you had forgotten about our conversation on the bus. Here's what I think: it seemed like you understood how it would be impossible for me to see your obsession, right? Because you agreed that no one can see a figment of another person's imagination. But that realization doesn't really serve your obsession, so you forgot about it pretty quick. What do you think about that?”
“She's no longer my obsession. She's a real girl. Im not obsessed with her. A real girl that hangs out somewhere. Somewhere around me.”
“And you're not obsessed with her?”
“No.”
“That seems like a big step. That's new, I think.”
“Yeah.”

A few minutes passed. Brooks and Ugo sat in silence.
“Don't look over there!” Ugo said suddenly. Brooks eyes had been wandering around the room.
“I thought you weren't obsessed anymore”
“I'm not. Just don't look over there.”
“Do you think even though you said you're not obsessed anymore, your obsession might come back?”
“No," said Ugo, "She's no where.”